As children we’re asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” My 8-year-old self wanted to be a sales associate at Sanrio! I know. Big dreamer. As I grew older, I never really knew what I wanted to do or what careers were out there other than restocking Hello Kitty merchandise. Even upon high school graduation I still didn’t have a clue what path I wanted to take. But the truth is, none of us really do. I know so many people who have changed majors half way through college, earn their degree, then get a job that has nothing to do with their major. You’re one of them, aren’t you? It’s OK because it’s all about finding ourselves and what truly makes our souls happy. That’s the journey I’m on right now.
After I had Leilani, I became deeply passionate about birth. I spent 3 years educating myself through dozens of library books on pregnancy, natural and drug free births, pregnancy and birth of multiples, diet and nutrition, etc. I have read many blogs, watched several documentaries, and viewed countless YouTube videos of home births. It was definitely an obsession phase I went through. I’m still very passionate about this subject and to this day, I will never leave the library without some kind of book from the “family” section in my arms. I was intrigued by pregnancy and birth so I looked into Midwife and Doula programs but could never get certified because I was a stay-at-home mom/military wife who was always moving. I didn’t have time to attend unpredictable births that could begin at 2 in the morning; who would watch my 2-year-old while my husband was at work? I knew that this wouldn’t work for me or my schedule. I was really upset because for the first time ever, I knew what I wanted to do. One day – maybe when Leilani is in college – I’ll fulfill my dream of becoming a Midwife just like my idol (one of a few), Ina May Gaskin.
I was back where I was at before I developed a passion for all things pregnancy and baby – nowhere – no clue what I should do next. So I registered for a health care program that would pave the way to nursing. I thought a position in health care meant I’d be in the safe zone. Great benefits, decent pay, and social acceptance. Funny how your job title makes all the difference in how a person perceives you. Being an artistic individual with many talents goes ignored when you have a job at a fast food chain. I knew I was in this program for the wrong reasons. Many people have jobs they despise and never feel complacent with their 9-5 positions. They have bigger dreams and other talents, but careers in the medical field or information technology is viewed as a higher status symbol in society and you become easily accepted. Some families and cultures push their children to become doctors. They are good at what they do but they never experience self-fulfillment. The actor and comedian, Kim Jeong, is a perfect example of this. He’s a physician who pursued acting because it’s where his heart is at. It’s not much of a respectable career compared to being a physician but… who cares? It makes him happy. I didn’t love what I was learning in class. Sure, it was interesting but it wasn’t something I would be satisfied with as a career for a good portion of my adult life. If we never moved to Italy, I would be in the second part of my externship right now. It would be an accomplishment I’d be proud of, but unhappy with the chosen path in the long run.
Once again, I was back at square one. I was beginning to think college wasn’t for me. But there had to be something that I could do; something that I wholeheartedly enjoyed. One of my favorite things to do is follow fashion trends, watch runway shows that are streaming live on the web, and browse collections in department stores and boutiques. I started looking into various careers surrounding fashion and found one that stood out the most. It was like bells were ringing in my head, ding! ding! ding!, and confetti was being thrown all around – “this is what you’re meant to do”! I never felt this way with my health care program or the other random classes I took. I’ll be majoring in Fashion Merchandising which I’ll use towards a career in buying. Classes are 100% online and I start this summer. This is the perfect time to start my studies while I’m here in Europe; art and fashion galore!
I’m following my dreams and watching them unfold. A fashion buyer/midwife is in my life plan. It feels so good to be doing the things I love.